‘Dad’

Dad

 

This was always going to be something I wrote about so it seems fitting that I do it on Father’s Day! My dad was (and is) someone that may not be a household name but he was well known locally. He has been called a ‘pioneer’, a ‘trail blazer’ and many other inspiring things. But to me he was my best friend. He bailed me out when I was in trouble, loaned me money when I was potless, gave me advice on my life and career, provided child care for my little girl and many more things. We never fell out (not that I can remember anyway!) which was probably down to both of our laid back personalities at the time. 

His job took up a massive part of his life so I remember thinking, if I want to be closer to him, I need to take a more active role in football. It was my way of trying to get to know my dad better, and it worked! 

We travelled to many games together (2-3 a week) and discussed so much during those long car journeys. Topics included family, music, football (of course), cars, money, the future, the past and so on. 

All with a background of Frank Sinatra, Dennis Brown, John Legend or a bit of Bob Marley. I had some of my best times, laughing and joking during those car trips. It’s funny, because I remember the smallest details, like dad moaning at me for staying in the middle lane of an empty motorway, ‘y’all right’ he used to say. Then followed by a, ‘get over’!! 

And, when he used to drop me off at the barrier of Burton Waters (where I used to live). I would say ‘drop me here, save you coming all the way round’. He’d say ‘you sure?’. Then I’d get out (taking a handful of pic n mix that he always had in his car) say ‘love you dad’ and walk back to my house. I loved that walk. It was so peaceful. I’d call him when I got in, ‘you back yet dad’ to which he’d reply ‘just turning up pal, speak tomorrow. Thanks’. 

 

When he passed away I remember thinking, I will NEVER get over this! My heart was broken. 

 Saying good bye in the hospital was one of the most difficult things I have ever done (carrying his coffin at his funeral being the other). But with each day that passes I feel less sad and more appreciative of the 28 years I had with him in my life. 

I’m lucky I have magnificent close family & friends who helped me cope. Especially my girlfriend, she was amazing and I owe her a lot! Times like that you find out who should be in your life and who shouldn’t. 

 

It’s 3 and a half years on now and although I no longer see a counsellor to help me grieve, I feel in a better place. I’m lucky to have the life I have but my dad is probably up there knowing that I still beat myself up because I expect so much more from my existence. When I’m frustrated at my progress (which is often)  I still hear him saying ‘son, you’re always too hard on yourself, you’re doing well’….. ‘Relax’. 

 

I have not said this much, but I partly blame football for my dad’s early passing. The pressure, the stress, having to constantly prove yourself. It takes it’s toll and even though there’s no medical link to those things and how he died, that’s what I feel. 

 

The silly thing is now I’m inside the world of professional football I have the irrational thought that one day it may do the same to me. 

 

But just like my dad, I love my job and want to provide a better life for my family so I take the chance……. That’s football. 

Agents – ‘Show me the Money’

As you all probably know, I used to be an agent so this subject is extremely close to my heart! I know it’s a topic that divides the whole of the football community but my personal opinion, regardless of what anyone thinks, is agents are a big part of the modern game. No matter what the authorities try to do to control the numbers or oversee them, because of insecure players, they will always remain. Now even though the perceived opinion of agents are ‘they are leeches on the game of football’. There are some genuinely good, sensible and reliable agents, who actually help footballers and people in my position. The problem is there aren’t enough of this type of agent. One thing I can’t get over is why I didn’t earn a million when I was one!? I’m intelligent, charismatic, an excellent negotiator and when it comes to certain things, not short of confidence. So what was missing??? I have recently discovered this……. A lack of boundaries!

I regularly wake up to missed calls and texts, so bare in mind I go to sleep at midnight ish and wake at 6.30am ish (on a good day), that tells you the sort of hours people are calling me. There is no part of an agent’s consciousness that says ‘its 11.30pm maybe I shouldn’t call now, I will get more of his attention tomorrow morning’.

Seriously though, I’ve seen it all! From an ‘agent’ taking 10% of a youth team player’s £65 a week salary, to an ‘agent’ making life changing decisions for a premier league player! It all boils down (in my opinion) to a lack of confidence on the player’s behalf. If every player were happy within themselves, self assured and knowledgable, there would be a lesser need for agents. But because this will never happen and 35yr old players (not all) will STILL be taking their washing to their mums, football won’t change!

I remember the day I took my FA Agents license exam. Ironically I sat it at Meadow Lane (cant remember which room though). I was so nervous. I had revised not very well and expected to fail if I was honest. But when I turned up and looked around the room, the sight immediately encouraged me! There was no one in the room that LOOKED like they were more intelligent than me or dressed better than me, so I sat down amongst the wideboys, quietly got on and finished earlier than anyone. I started to go over my answers (as you do when you finish first) but then decided to stop messing about and leave them. I got up and walked out! 2 weeks later I received a letter saying I had passed 1^st time!

I was an Agent!!!

Or so I thought! The silly thing is, that people believe passing that exam automatically means you are going to earn big money and live like Ari Gold! They couldn’t be further from the truth. It took me 18 months to earn my 1^st penny and I still worked a second job in that time. There is no quick fix and SOOO many people are willing to stab you in the back for as little as a £1. My advice is, if you want to earn the big bucks…. Go to University, Study, become a Lawyer! Some people will say this is rubbish and if you work hard you will succeed. NOBODY works harder than me and I don’t think I did but…. that’s football!

Please Leave Your Name After The Tone!

So , as my first blog entry went down pretty well I’ve decided to keep going (when time allows).

Regardless of what people say or think, I found that When you get into professional football your phone rings ALOT!!

Most people would be happy with that, and just enjoy being wanted, as would I if the person on the other end of the phone wasn’t trying to convince me that –

1. Their player (who hasn’t kicked a ball in a competitive game for 2 years), was the next big thing!!

2. The standard of football in Uzbekistan is comparable to that of the premier league.

Or…..

3. Ronaldo’s little brother’s teacher’s cousin’s son is creating a lot of interest at the age of 3!

The list goes on…..

I don’t know about other people in my position but for me the most difficult part of my job is the constant administration of my phone. As I write this I look at my phones cellular usage figures, which read 102 days and 6 hours. I think that is my total usage, so that means its carried over from my last 4 phones (max 4years) but still that tells me that, since I’ve been in football I have spent over 102 WHOLE DAYS OF MY LIFE on the phone!!! And I’m guessing 100 of them could’ve been compressed into 50 if I was less polite!!

THAT is ridiculous!

Most of the calls I get are from agents or other types of representative, each call I take seriously regardless of the content (unlike most Chief Scouts) but 85% lead to nothing, however, I do remember one interesting phone call though.

It was 1.30am and I was fast asleep, when my mobile rang! My girlfriend answered it and said it was ‘mr X’ (can’t say his name but it was an ex premier League manager who was working in the championship at the time). I immediately thought it was one of my friends out on the town and trying to wind me up. So I grabbed the phone and said ‘are you taking the p….. It’s 1.30am!!!’

To my astonishment it ACTUALLY was ‘mr X’. After he had introduced himself the line went quiet….. Until ‘mr X’ calmly said ‘Matt you are a c…….’ And hung up!!

Now at the time I was an agent and I had just helped a young boy realise his dream. When I spotted him he was playing conference football and we had just completed his £750k move to the championship! So it was safe to say that they boy seemed happy. Mr X was the manager of another championship team who had wanted to sign him. Mr x had offered me 20% more money if I had ‘persuaded’ the young boy to go to his club to which I declined and he signed for the club he felt more comfortable at!

Obviously this had been playing on mr x’s mind and after he had a few drinks he decided to let me know what he thought of me!! Which looking back on it now is quite funny as the player dumped me to sign with a ‘bigger’ agency after he signed for his new club!!! Ha ha ha ……. That’s football.

Hard Work

I’ve been ‘around’ football all my life in one way or another. It is a massive part of my everyday living.

My dad, my brother and even my best friends have all played professionally and I am currently one of the youngest chief scouts in Britain. Most would say I have the perfect job. I mean, I get paid to watch football after all.

There is no doubt I am a very lucky person to be in the position I’m in, but as I was preparing for a recentunder-21 game against Birmingham City at their training ground I noticed a mantra on the wall leading to our changing room.

It read ‘hard work will beat talent if talent doesn’t work hard’.

This stuck with me for many reasons but the one that rises to the surface is ‘hard work’. Getting into football regardless of who your parents or friends are is difficult.

But one thing that is certain to help increase the possibility of making that leap is having a relentless work ethic.

Most businesses want people who will do the most for the least and football clubs are no different.

But just how far are you willing to go? In order to get to my current position I worked almost a year with no pay at my first club and regularly clock up 85+ hour weeks.

It’s all very difficult when trying to balance my time, so my young family doesn’t miss out on me and vice versa.

Something has to give. It could be your time at home, itcould be your work or it could even be a hobby or something you enjoy. The fact is that if you don’t value yourself enough to set limits, no-one else will.

I haven’t publicly spoken about this before but with me what ‘gave’ was ME.

I am the unhealthiest I have ever been and have more aches and pains than my 84-year-old gran.

I suffer from migraines (never had them before) and I get reoccurring bouts of insomnia. One time I was taken tohospital and linked up to an ECG machine investigating a suspected heart attack – I was only 30.

All because I want to impress and stay in the industry I love.

I remember speaking to my dad before he passed away and he told me to stay away from football and concentrate on computers (something I am also very good at).

This was from a man who, when in intensive care after suffering a brain aneurysm, decided to unplug his heart monitor and plug in the TV so he could check the scores on teletext.

You see football is not more important than a healthy and long life.

But when you’re immersed in it for long enough it morphs into something more captivating than you could ever imagine.

One good day totally overshadows the two months of hard, focused, stress inducing bad days! Crazy I know, but…… that’s football.